Monday, August 16, 2010

Behold the Semmel

Behold the Semmel in some of its infinite variety:

The Semmel* is the most revered of German breakfast foods. Made with refined white flour, it is what we oafish Americans would call a Kaiser roll and might ignorantly buy in the deli section at Kroger's without batting an eye. Not so in Germany. The locally-owned corner bakery might be good for Kuchen, but if you want the lightest, airiest, fluffiest, crust-crispest Semmel, you paradoxically must go to the chain-store bakery halfway up the block; and if you are a Semmel conoisseur (i.e. German), you can actually taste the difference. Unlike hearty rye Pfisterbrot ("the best bread we Bavarians have," says Helen, and which Stefan once gushed over by exclaiming, "and can you believe this stuff lasts for weeks without ever tasting stale?"), a Semmel's shelf life is limited to a few hours, on principle if nothing else. Reheated day-old Semmel do not a proper breakfast make: they must be purchased fresh, daily, if you're going to do breakfast right ("Immer frisch, immer frisch"--always fresh--Helen instructs). You could choose to start your day with something "heavy," say a whole-grain roll with actual nutritive content, but the Semmel-eating majority will shake their heads and pity your woeful miseducation.

*Northern Germans call Semmel Broetchen (diminutive breadlets), which Bavarians think is Just Wrong.

2 comments:

  1. For many of us there is a guilty pleasure in freshly baked crusty white bread especially a good batard. Dare I say it, its almost like eating chocolate and in my mind is in the same category of "consumed despite knowing its not good for me" (but not as bad as a donut).

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  2. Indeed, yes, there is something splendid about fresh baked crusty white bread. And I would never dream of directly insulting the Semmel, as that would be guaranteed to get me in trouble with certain in-laws. But it is worth noting--not that I want to make this a political thing, of course--but it is worth noting that during a televised campaign debate in 1988, one candidate famously and bluntly declared to the other, "Semmel, I've served French Batard, I know French Batard, French Batard is a food of mine. Semmel, you're no French Batard." For better or worse (I'd say worse), the Semmel went on to win the election.

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